And that information has changed what I feel about grounding, and how I sense and ask for material abundance.
Jarrod passed me his Lightworker Oracle deck.
It’s just for a month (does that mean I bring it with me to America? … I guess?) and the first few readings are already taking shape (I am not surprised..).
The first card I pulled was Dark Night of the Soul. I think last night’s post was it, because this morning’s reading was all about light and gifts and keys and staying in the present moment (as well as a few freeing and initiation and portal cards).
Inside this morning’s reading was a card that made a reference to the Earth as a divine being, one who will bless you with material abundance, aka wealth.
After I read the card, I put my hand on my bed, palm down, and felt for that being.
To my pleasant surprise, the Earth responded.
I used to think…
I had always thought of the Earth as just a planet. Of dirt and rock and magma, magnetic poles, a pile of earth held together by gravity and spinning through space.
“Grounding” to me, when people told me to visualise, was an imaginary exercise of tree roots or going through the centre to the other side or of crystal caves and flowers blooming.
I’d come back up and feel nothing, beyond an exercise in imagination.
The other type of grounding was physical, clutching the floor with my toes, bouncing on my feet, trying to use my senses… I was in my body but barely.
I had the answers to everything…
When I finally learned that the Earth was a divine being, it unlocked a presence.
I put my hand down on my bed and I can feel the Earth pulsating.
I don’t have to imagine tree roots or going to the centre — now that I can feel the Earth as alive, I am immediately grounded, connected, in tune and in flow.
but now I know…
I’m only just realising how dead the Earth was to me before this. All the science that I love made me think that the planet was just rock in space.
No wonder I couldn’t ground. There’s nothing to ground to when something is dead. No energy returned, no connection to be made.
life doesn’t always…
And I couldn’t feel life because I was the one blocked from the thought that the Earth could be alive.
I had heard of Mother Earth and Goddess Gaia, but somehow I didn’t connect that to Earth. (Mother issues? Perhaps. And because the goddess felt more like the parent of the gods and goddesses, rather than a goddess of a planet…)
go my way…
I can understand the Moon and the Sun having divine, spiritual meaning, even the stars…
(I can understand when people speak of the full moon in Libra, the pink moon, as a time of healing, balance, beauty…)
Now to that I add: the Earth is divine and spiritual.
feels like I’m caught in the middle…
Wait then do I still talk to the deities for money and success and abundance?
Or do I speak to the Earth, as material abundance?
that’s when I realise…
A physical Earth, and a divine Earth, connects with a physical abundance, as an answer to divine abundance.
I can choose to see it as separate, and talk to both, or I can choose to see it as connected, and talk to either. Right now, it makes sense to me to include the Earth into my spiritual world, the way I see the Moon, Sun and stars. It’s all one Divinity.
I’m not a girl!
(You knew this was coming, right? That I was singing Britney Spears in my headers? I just worked my thoughts into the structure of the lyrics… 😀 )
What has helped, now that I know the Earth is alive, is that I feel like this is a place I can be on.
It’s like, I never felt like I could be here, like I was an alien, like I couldn’t belong, before this. It’s like my body’s here but my soul didn’t really choose to come along.
Now that the Earth is… present, and listening, and reactive, and alive…
I feel like I have the chance to experience being human.
Because I just asked the Earth, alongside my vault of gold and jewels and pretty things, art and flowers and life and a home, and to experience life on Earth, if I could be human, in her love.
Not yet a woman.
I’m not saying I have it all figured out, but I am feeling grounded to this Earth more than I’ve ever had before, and I’m also feeling supported.
Like my footsteps and actions will have physical, real world reactions, and I’m not just a creature that’s perpetually in the air — I might have wings, and I’ve used them all my life, but I’m finally finding that I have feet, and hands, and I can do and say things that can change the place and paths and people whose lives I’m in.
It’s like I matter. I am literal matter and I metaphorically meaningfully matter.
Which makes me realise I didn’t think I mattered before. Oh. No wonder I lived my life the way I did because who would care about a winged little creature? Oh.
I think I might need to talk to my therapist about that.
hey. this was meant to be a light-hearted post. and i just had to curl up on my side for a while instead.
I don’t believe it now though. I don’t believe that I am inconsequential (I still believe that I am winged, but I can’t-won’t tell my therapist that).
give me a second to hug little me
Now that I matter, now that I want to be here, now that I want to be human, now what? Earth wants me to say watch me, which is empowering and puts a smile on my face. I just… wonder how much and what part of me is missing, and still needs to be built.
Still, I’m glad to drop the beliefs that don’t serve me, aren’t for me, are not mine to hold.
'Cause everybody, oh, they love a winner
So nobody loved me
Lady peaceful, lady happy
That′s what I long to be
Well, all the odds are, they're in my favor
Something′s bound to begin
It's gotta happen, happen sometime
Maybe this time
Maybe this time I'll win
~ Caberet
🩷🌧️✨
Image of a fake, oversized pair of legs wearing net-stockings and red heels hung out the window of a building, to attract attention for a caberet, by Carlos Ramón Bonilla Miranda from Pixabay.
