It’s 5:35 am and I’ve been awake for a while. Been playing with the Enneagram, pretending I was giving a class to my real estate team about the nine types of clients they will meet. (I got through the foundation and a couple of types, so I’ve been awake a while.)
Finally up and typing because I got hungry, and I had a bit of a realisation, and I wanted to figure out the rest…
I started wondering why I was giving a talk about the Enneagram in my head. It’s Jarrod’s journey, not mine, and I wondered why I was messing with it — taking things out, mixing my own interpretations, coming up with my own examples and ways to explain/elucidate the types… then I realised I was playing.
And I thought about the post I made on social media in the evening:
Why?
Because I want the answer – I’m looking for the name – and I want to write about things that can affect anybody and everybody.
Why?
Because I think it’s my gift. I can write, I can speak, I can present. I know how to build blogs and websites, I’m not afraid of social media.
The things I’ve always been interested in are about passion and meaning and purpose. About joy and finding that thing that lights your soul up and draws people in because you shine so brightly.
I’m looking for that, and I want people to find theirs too.
So when I say I want to use words to make people’s lives better, that’s what I mean. It’s not poetry or fiction or songs or movies.
It’s the gentle awareness and connection to your gift, your journey along what I see as a golden string.
Turning the questions over to you:
– What do you do, constantly and consistently, without any pay?
– Why do you do it?
– Is there a connection to your purpose in life?
#life #purpose
I lay in bed letting my mind move where it wanted to. A whole bunch of thoughts came up.
Jarrod teaches the Enneagram. I was just playing with it because it’s fun. That’s such a Seven thing, fun.
I want to help people find their purpose. There’s joy in purpose.
There’s joy in purpose.
Purpose, joy.
Purpose is joy.
I lay in bed a while, letting that thought float.
When Jarrod teaches the Enneagram, he hopes that people use the information to reclaim who they are. To recognise your innate core first, and then use that information to grow. He does it to help people. It’s coming from his Two.
If I use the Enneagram, it’s because I find joy doing it.
My clients who want me to write books for them — I love it when I can see their passion/purpose/joy.
Jarrod working on his workshops and training with the Enneagram — I love helping because I can see his joy.
I love doing things because it’s fun.
Writing… I do because it helps me find peace. Am I just running away from pain then, another Seven thing? Is that why I think purpose is important? Because not doing your purpose is pain?
What if– Jarrod says I help him find the fun in life. What if my role is to make things light? To bring joy?
There’s a lady on Tiktok who posts videos about finding your whimsy. I roll my eyes at her and scroll away when I see it. (Because how hard is it to find joy? Does it have to be so… manufactured?) But the thing you scorn and roll your eyes at… tends to be the thing you need to work through.
I’ve been thinking of another TikTok that’s been asking “what’s the most painful thing in your life?” and connecting it to your purpose… I’m finding this hard.
The most painful thing that happened wasn’t the abuse that got swept under the rug. It was seeing someone I was with fall in love with someone else, knowing that everything I was trying to do won’t bring the love back, and then packing up my office and moving everything back home, single and work-less at the same time.
I ate so little I became the slimmest I’d ever been. I tuned the radio to classical music, because songs brought memories I couldn’t handle. It was months before I laughed again. It was a stand-up show on Netflix. I can’t remember who…
Does that connect to purpose?
I listened to everything I could about attachment styles, healthy relationships, self-help, love. It made sense when Jarrod appeared in my life, but what, am I to write about it? Make content around it? I’m in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in — ever seen — and it’s the most comfortable (no stress and second guessing) and uncomfortable (because my system isn’t used to this) I’ve ever been.
I could find fun here. I could find purpose here.
I’m a little afraid I’m gloating, or jinxing it. But it’s the ones who have found peace who can be guides. And I know we built our relationship conversation by conversation, so it’s not a temporary thing that can crumble.
I want to write about things that can affect anybody and everybody?
I can write about love.
If purpose is joy, what’s more joyful than love?
💖
Image of pink roses (some darker pink, and a red berry plant)
mine, from a bouquet Jarrod bought me for our 1st year anniversary.
