Just a couple of things to get off my brain so that I can hopefully sleep easy tonight…
I forgot I’m a fairy.
I kind of knew this as a kid, and confirmed it with a channelling group last year, and then totally forgot it. For a whole year. (Because it was this time last year-ish that I met the channellers.)
I’ve been slowly building Witchy Therapy, and got absorbed into the identity of a witch, and choosing black accessories to protect my space… I departed from what I knew.
Then today, as I realised my partner’s spiritual identity, I had a sudden call to reconnect with my own.
I’m a fairy.
That’s why I:
- Sit on the floor, or the table (size/space difference);
- Love flowers and light pretty colours;
- Wear dresses and skirts (the flowy-er the better);
- Am inclined to be happy and lovely and light all the time.
Did I just call myself lovely? Yes. I am lovely.
I want to go my own way.
My realtor team has a 30-day social media challenge. It’s to post something every weekday (catch up on weekends if needed), and they started suggesting prompts.
The prompts are fine, there’s probably some AI used in why they work and how, but I don’t want to do them. Because it feels inauthentic. Not just because there’s AI involved, I don’t like journal prompts… no.. I don’t like it because it’s performative. It’s vulnerability manufactured for likes and views and follows. That doesn’t sit well with me. Vulnerability shouldn’t be used. It’s a process that is worth itself.
So no, I can’t bring myself to do something performative. It’s something I can learn and keep in my back pocket, to be used when I really need the structure for something later. But I don’t need it now.
I’m wondering how to make this easier for myself.
I’ve made it hard. With fear, with anxiety, with self-rejection even before I begin.
How do I make this easier? How do I look at business and life and work and success as play? As lightness? As love?
Because that brings me forward much faster than… pain.
There was an episode when the Flash body-swapped with… Green Arrow. And they had to learn each other’s motivations. Green Arrow takes all the pain and uses it to power through. Flash runs faster when he’s running towards the ones he loves. (Yeah this is DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, Green Arrow, Flash, Supergirl and Batwoman all mixed up. I missed an episode and that will forever be a black hole for me…)
Running away from pain works, sure, but it’s a path filled with stumbling blocks that I’ve placed there on my own, trying to slow me down to keep me safe (or so my emotional brain says).
Running to something I love is like a straight path of light, obstables pushed out of the way or simply detoured around or stepped over to keep going.
How do I make this easy?
Because business isn’t hard.
You find a problem, you find a solution, you get someone who pays you for it, on repeat.
Everything else is an ego/identity problem, or something you haven’t figured out how to do, or haven’t done yet.
I… I’m a guide, I know that. I write and channel for my clients. People who are looking for the right way, and need some help finding it. Even in real estate, same thing. I’m supposed to show the way.
Like Tinkerbell showing Wendy the way (I know there are problems with this, but just go with me here).
So I find the people who don’t know the way, who want to find it, and show them how to find it themselves, and/or pay me to help them find it (could be the same thing).
I’m only comfortable with real estate now that I’ve started A Realtor Lighthouse, because home should be a sanctuary, and the property journey needs a guide and a lighthouse to stay safe. (And also because my team said to stay.)
Witchy Therapy was meant to be a guide as well.
As for me… the same way my partner is his own guide, this is where I come to guide myself. To spill out all the words until I spell out my way forward.
Ah. I’ve forgotten about Writing to Connect. I had plans for that, and it’s on the warmers at the back… It’s also a guide, but perhaps… I’ll see where this goes.
Is that it?
Yeah, I hope so.
Tomorrow’s an IKEA trip, and Decathlon. I’ve got to get a bedside table / altar / recording station. Find a way to turn it into a flower garden. Maybe grab a few pleated skirts.
There’s a lightness in my life again. I’ll see where this goes.
✒️✨🧭
Image of pretty pink poppies by Andrea Gibhardt from Pixabay.
