“Starting new things… is part of the gift of who we are–and at times it’s an empty shadow.”
It’s Day 12 of Forty Days On Being A Seven, and Gideon is talking about how sevens “compulsively start things”, and sometimes we start things just to start things, and perhaps we don’t know how to stop.
Then he writes…
Notice the movement in you to start new things.
Become curious about what starting a new thing moves you toward.
When you have an idea, pause and see if there is something you’re wanting to move away from.
Find a good therapist to support you in being present with the things you want to distract yourself from.
(Why do I do this to myself? 🙂 )
I want to start new things all the time, and usually it’s a reaction to not liking what I’ve already done, and not wanting to keep something that’s limiting me. Identities, for example, change when I no longer want to be confined, and I want something new to define myself with.
I just talked to Jarrod about something that popped up recently. We were having a conversation with a few friends and I felt myself going somewhere else — and I knew that we were doing something imnportant, and things were changing.
There was a shift, for me, in what I’m going to be doing in the future. Towards training, teaching, growth.
Which is weird, because these were the exact things I was running away from when I joined real estate.
Yet now it feels like real estate isn’t going to last — it was only ever a placeholder for something else. And I’m returning to an old road, made new with different content.
.
Do I start things because they’re new and exciting? Of course. I love starting. I love first days and first trials and new classes, and I don’t feel like I belong if I miss the first day. I missed the first Literature lecture in junior college by accident, and then I never felt like I “got it”. I missed the first day of a dance class, and even through it was Level 1, and I had taken those classes before, it made me alien…
Hang on, I think I’ve written words like this before. It’s not exactly deja vu I’m feeling. It’s a sense of recollection.
Anyway.
Starting something new feels fresh, with hope and joy that something might be completed someday (hopefully soon).
That means I’m running away from things I believe/know/feel I won’t complete. Things that are stagnating and failing.
.
“Find a good therapist”… funny, did you do this on purpose, Goddess? Just when I signed up for therapy, and I’m going for a session tomorrow?
“… to support you in being present with the things you want to distract yourself from.”
To sit with the pain. frustration. boredom. uncertainty.
When Jarrod talks about the Enneagram Sevens he always talks about how we avoid pain. Then he asks, “what is pain to you all?”
limitation. being stuck. The way Princess Jasmine and Aladdin both said “trapped” at the same time, that probably struck a chord. I don’t need to be “where the people are” different like Ariel, or looking for something “more than this provincial life” like Belle. I’m constantly looking for escape and exploration and excitement, and thankfully I got the message that magic is neutral-good.
But boredom, uncertainty and limitation get to me. Those pains eat at me and my grasp of joy.
That means novelty, self-assurance and exploration/curiosity help keep me sane. And are why I keep running off to new things.
Think I can manage to have a sense of curiosity and self-assurance when I get bored? To know that I can handle things because I trust myself? To be open to things being new even when I think it’s routine/familiar/common?
There was a facebook post on… blessing everything in a 10 metre radius, something from a book about falling in love with where you are instead of looking at some imagined future and place. To see the sidewalk cracks as a base for chalk-drawn flowers.
And a tiktok video on… falling in love with the person you’re with all over again, seeing with the eyes of someone new and willing to do things just to see them smile.
I’m blessed to get to do what I do for my business. Sure it’s sitting here for hours typing and looking at a screen. But I get to absorb all the experience and expertise of people who are successful, and translate that into a book that people get to read and learn from, and maybe grow and improve their lives.
I get to listen to Jarrod and his co-trainers, people who have dedicated their time, energy, lives to learning and teaching so that others get to grow better.
I get to be part of people’s homes and families and lives, when I’m a realtor, and help them find a place for their family and their future.
And maybe, with this shift in perspective, I get to sit where I am, complete what I actually want to complete, and stay.
🌧️
Image of a gift box held in hands by yuyun fan from Pixabay
Because it’s either a box that limits or a gift that allows for possibilities.
