In my dream I was given some sheets of paper, and the guidance to write what I wanted, what I most wished, to be.
I sat there, realising I was one of the last with blank sheets, the people around me getting up to move on because they were done, and in the urgent moment, I wrote:
I am a writer, published, successful, rich, healthy, loved, loving.
The dream, like many of my other dreams, was vivid. And when the rest of me awoke, I wondered, “Why didn’t I write that I was a channel?”
I’d been going on a path of communicating with spirit guides as a business. I started a company and my fiancé even helped me design a name card…
Yet the sweetest ache of envy only hurts when I read Brianna Wiest, and I want (not just to read the books but) to create what she has done. And to find success in it.
I had planned on starting a new facebook page for Witchy Therapy, and closed the profile, only to find I am blocked from creating a new page.
I asked my fiancé if I was on the right path, and the answer was “I don’t know (I can’t tell you).” Having given that answer before, I know it’s the journey that you need to take that matters, not the end.
And with this dream — well, how many signs am I going to need?
There’s a tiktok that went “you’re not looking for direction, you’re looking for permission. You want the life without the risk. And the person that you currently are cannot hold the life on the other side without it.”
Funny thing is, now that I know what I am, I feel sad.
Because being a channel was fun, t’was interesting, and the feeling of not knowing (the “what next?”) was fun and frustrating, a problem that didn’t really matter whether it was solved or not.
As a writer? Well… then it’s real. The fun and ease of inconsequence leaves. Now, it matters.
I ask my guides if I need a new company: no. Do I need a new name card? Yes. And it’s nothing magical or pretty or moon and stars? … yes. Blank, white, a statement of name and writer and contact details. Not even as a content creator.
“Then why,” I ask, “did I connect this way? Able to speak with you? Able to connect?”
“That’s for you,” they answer, “for us.”
“And what,” I ask, “do I write about?”
“You’ll see,” they say, smiling, and kindly adding as I stare,
“It’s all the things you’ve wanted to write about. Relationships and what you’ve learned and the things you seek to understand.”
It feels like Witchy Therapy was just a moment in the journey, not the journey. I guess it was to shut down 26 Letters. (They smile, so okay.) And I guess I’ll end up closing WT soon too (hang on, their smile fades a bit. No?)
Something has moved, of that I am sure. Now to move with the guides.
When you connect well with your guides, and they tell you it’s time… you move.
✒️✨🧭
Image of a kaweco fountain pen on a leather-bound journal on a desk by Phuong Luu from Pixabay.
