Things that made me happy today:
- I ate half a Snickers bar (please remember the other half is still in my bag)
- And a really good doughnut with something called angel cream, and homecooked soup with veggies and it was yummyyy
- I learned how to count and dance to the swing in blues music
- I walked in a heavy drizzle home
It’s little things, and I wanted to make a note. I’m happy.
And also because I don’t get to yap to Jarrod, while he’s away in the US learning more about the Enneagram.
Oh, on that note.
Day 2 of Forty Days On Being A Seven…
They say Sevens’ core wound is the fact that nurturing was withdrawn from them too early in life.
The author, Gideon, tells a story of how that is true from his childhood, and in the box for reflections, he quotes from the Bible (which I’m cutting shorter)…
… a voice came down from heaven: ‘You are my Son, whom I love, with you I am well pleased’ (Mark 1:10-11)
and he asks readers to write
(your name), you are my child, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.
…
Eh, well… I’m not Christian, so I’m a little bit resistant to copying something like that word for word… So lemme edit it a bit. And check in if it feels authentic to what I believe of my Divinity.
I’m comfortable saying: Rain, daughter, I love you.
I’m not comfortable with “well pleased”.
I am okay with this: Rain, daughter, I love you, and you are exactly who you are and who you need to be.
I don’t please my Goddess… She’s just perfectly fine with the way I am.
Ah.
Rain, my child, you are loved.
And you are perfectly fine the way you are.
Gideon’s instructions are to then say this slowly and notice what insights come up, three more times.
Rain,
child,
you are
loved.
And
you
are perfect
the way you are
…
I know.
I know, and I forget.
Rain,
my child,
you are loved
and you are perfect
just the way you are.
Ooo something is pushing back.
And I can accept that.
I can accept and welcome that feeling, the “I am not good enough”, the resistance, the stubborn bit.
What’s the worst that can happen if I give in and let go? And let it be that I am loved and already perfect?
The angry resisting part: “No! You’re… you’re fat! And lazy! And a ne’er-do-well! You’re poor! You don’t have direction! You’re messy! And messed up!”
Yes. And that’s okay.
“What do you mean that’s okay?? How can that be okay?? Nobody’s supposed to–allowed to be that way!”
To… be human?
“Ye–well–I mean… You can do better, and you don’t!”
Which means, in your eyes, we’re not worthy of love and acceptance?
“Yes!”
Would you say that of the ones you love?
“No. They get… they’re doing what they can.”
Aand I am not?
“You… you can do better!”
Okay, yes, and I want to, and I will.
“O…Okay…”
Okay?
“Okay!”
So we get to be loved and accepted now?
“Yeah okay.”
Okay. I love and accept you too.
The bit sits and pouts and crosses their arms, and I kiss them on the head.
Rain,
my child,
you are loved.
And you are perfect.
I don’t know what exactly this has to do with nurturing, because in my mind nurturing is guidance, not acceptance and love.
Or perhaps…
I only grow, only consider growing, when I feel like I’m accepted and loved for who I am at the current stage I am.
And I already know what I’m supposed to be doing (I just don’t do it)…
Knowing that I am loved and accepted has already changed how I feel and approach my life (Thank you Jarrod). I’m a little — just a little — less flighty.
If I am loved and accepted the way I am, and I’m holding my own space for that, and believing that this is true from my version of Divinity, then I don’t have to keep trying.
All I have to do is keep doing.
To keep being. Exactly who I am.
💖🌧️
Image of a cloud on a light purple sky by Pexels from Pixabay.
