It’s been an interesting two weeks in Australia. (hello, 4:44 pm) It’s been spiritual, enlightening, scary, full of change, love, fun, dance, and talks around the dining toom table.
On one hand, I’m so immenensely grateful that I’m here. With people, in places, having experiences I yearned to have in my life so long ago, and didn’t know would happen. On the other, the change is terrifying.
Because I’m given the path of possible future (annoyed because I’m listening to music and Alicia Keys just sang “break the mold”), it also means there are things I’ll need to burn and give up. It means telling people “no”, which is not something I’m used to, even though I’m not happy following someone else’s plans either.
There’s a part of me that knows I should keep my dreams to myself, and also the other part that knows my memory is vague and I will forget what I’m talking about five minutes after a conversation ends, so here goes…
There’s possibilites to:
- move out and get a home of our own,
- move overseas,
- migrate,
- start a tarot business,
- be a witch/fairy/fairy queen/human person…
And in this I close my real estate side. It’s not immediate, though it can be. I can finish the sale of the two homes I have under my care, and then let things be. I can pass it to my teammates.
I have my ghost writing side, which I may need to use to migrate. (I can’t use my realtor side as support for migration, which is why I’m letting it go.) It makes sense because I can write anywhere in the world, but a realtor business built in Singapore doesn’t transfer overseas. The clients don’t come with you, the land is different, the properties and laws nowhere close to being the same.
Arugh, looking through the visas, conditions and details… it’s a lot.
Which brings me to the other thing on my mind: change in the form of growing up.
It’s on me to figure out how to get us overseas. It’s on me to figure out the work. On me to make decisions. (RAYE sang “all this time I should be workin’ on me”)
I’m presented with the opportunity (I’m trying to be postive here) to live life as if it were mine. As in, before Jarrod, before the idiots I’ve been with, before I gave up on my own life. (The sun just brightened to an almost blinding state. I noticed. It eased. Yeah, I got the message.)
If it was just me. (Celine Dion: “when you want it the most, there’s no easy way out…”)
If it was just me, and I had to figure out my own life, what would I do?
No more waiting on other people to give me a plan, a direction, a clue… Knowing what I know, what do I want to do?
I always wanted to do tarot. I’ve been told not to use “witch” for now, which is okay. I’ve started tarotsafely.com. I made a name card design, which I like for now.
Pretty, isn’t it?
I don’t know if I want to leave Singapore. Australia is amazing, food-wise. And the homes here are pretty cool. I will miss the ease of just getting a bus or a train to places, because everything here is a drive away.
I don’t know how I’m going to get us here, but that’s another problem for another day.
Do I stay in Singapore, try to build a tarot base in a country of over 6 million people? Do I come over as a writer and hope I’m worthy enough to be invited to apply for a visa?
(Opened the writings of Florence Scovel Shinn and it told me to not let me heart’s desires become my heart’s disease…)
Sigh. I let go.
(Jarrod would probably smile at that.)
I just have to trust that I will go and do what I need to, and things will go right. I do believe that. So I’ll let witch-fairy-queen move my feet and fingers and soul.
Alright, time to go to dance class…
💖
Image of watercolour flowers on cards by Martina Bulková from Pixabay,
kinda like tarot cards I think.
